Specificity.

I took Dog to have his hair cut today. You remember what Dog looks like, right? He's a golden retriever/chocolate lab mix. Picture a golden with chocolate brown hair.

They asked me what haircut I wanted for Dog. After staring at them for a minute (a bob? a farah fawcett flip? a mohawk?) I said, a summer haircut.

And away they went.

And they returned to me a naked mole rat.

Or Dog, I'm not sure. But he is naked.

Next time, I will specify a farah fawcett flip.

Meaner than mean

So, I thought I had a good idea. And, I'm a sucker for a sob story. A friend of a Her's brother had to give up her dog. She'd (the friend, not the dog) had a lot of changes recently, and wasn't able to keep him. He (the dog, not the friend) was a black lab, so very sweet, homeless.

The boys, I knew, would love another dog. And I thought, perfect! Dog will have a friend. So we drove, an hour and a half tonight, to meet this New Dog. We left Dog in the car and went inside to meet ND (new dog), and he was very nice. Wanted to play but listened to commands.

And then onto the big test. How he'd do with Dog. Now, Dog has been around lots of other dogs, and hasn't had a problem with any of them. At the dog park, he plays well with others. If anything, he's timid. As soon as a dog barks at him, he lays down. Even if the barking dog comes up to his knee, he lays down. Him, I wasn't worried about. ND I wasn't so sure about.

I held ND's leash and Boy 1 held Dog's leash. ND immediately started growling and went to sniff him, which is normal. Dog stood as still as he could while trying to make himself become one with Boy 1's leg. When ND snapped at Dog, I had Boy 1 take him in other room, which Dog was only too happy to do.

We tried again twice, but ND still growled and snapped. And poor Dog was shaking. So, trial over. This is not the companion for us. On the ride home, we all felt like dirt. Poor Dog, we take him to a place and he trusts us, and we make him deal with this big scary dog.

He's asleep at my feet, on my feet, right now. So apparently, he's forgiven us, thank goodness.

Where Dog tells me to F*$& Off

Dog is in obedience classes. Well, according to the instructor, the owners' are in obedience class and the dogs are along for the ride. We've coasted along so far with Dog, as he knew the basics of sit and lay down when we got him from the pound. Er, humane society shelter doggy place. We're in class to expand upon his wealth of knowledge, mainly in the form of stay when and where I tell/ask/plead with him to stay, and to come to me when I tell/ask/plead with him to come.

The other day, Boy 1 and I were talking in my room and Dog wanders in. Boy 1 tells him to lay down. Dog clearly contemplates the command and chooses to ignore it. Now it's an issue, he's in class, can't let him ignore the command. (It's bad enough I have to pick my battles with Boy 1, now I have to do that with Dog too?) I tell Dog to lay down in my stern, I-am-the-owner-boss-person voice. Dog sits.

I make eye contact with Dog, silently telling him that I am the boss and he will lay down when he is told to lay down. I repeat my command one more time. Lay Down, Dog.

Dog, I swear, looks me dead in the eye and proceeds to scoot his ass across my carpet.

I have a sinus infection. Luckily, in only one side. My question is - and I warn you, this is entirely too much information - is it bad that the snot that is coming out of my nose has gone from the nasty yellow pus colored to day-glo orange/yellow? I mean, it looks like I've been snorting lemon koolaid. Is it the antibiotics? Have I been snorting lemon koolaid when I wasn't looking? I mean, what the hell? It's not enough my head feels like it's going to explode, I have to have psychedelic nasal colors too?

Other than that, life is peachy. The boys and I went to their grandparents house for Boy 1's birthday. Boy 1 was a little "uncomfortable" because these are his father's parents, and his father wasn't going to be there. I tried explaining again that they were his grandparents and I was his mother and that made us all family, like it or not. I truly like my exhusband's family, and feel blessed that they don't feel the divorce ended my time with them. (You've been voted off this family, please douse your torch). We brought Dog with us, at their request. They have three dogs, several cats and acres for everyone to run. And they did. We discovered Dog swims like a fish. And then shakes off only when you're near him. He plays well with others, which we knew, but even others that are annoying and kept trying to clean his teeth for him with their tongues. (Let me just say, ew.) Dog is now completely exhausted after running non-stop for several hours and then having to put up with a bath. It's a hard day for poor dogs. What with this playing and getting treats and having everyone on hand to pay attention to you. Same goes for the boys. They're grandparents, they must spoil.