Bad Mommy

I will hide candy in my room so I don't have to share it.

And chips.

I will pretend not to hear the children bickering if I'm at a really good point in whatever book I'm reading.

I do not feel bad about not being good at playing sports, because I don't want to play tackle football with them. They're rough and I'm a wimp.

My first response is to yell, usually to yell something along the lines of "Stop Yelling In The HOUSE!"

I will allow Boy 1 to make pizza when I'm making something he doesn't like because sometimes I'm just not up for the battle.

I say "if you do that one more time... too many times.


Sometimes early bedtimes are less a punishment for them and more a sanity saver for me.

I allow their rooms to be messy, to the point of absolute chaos, because I don't like to clean my room either.

I make Boy 2 deal with spiders because I am a big 'ol sissy and he's not. I am responsible for taking care of other things, such as the mouse that Cat was playing with the other day and the bat that somehow got into our bathroom last year.

I always give books at Christmas and birthdays, in the pathetic hope that it will uncover their love of books that must just be buried really, really deeply.

I enjoy (only a little, teeny, tiny bit) when Boy 1 is sick because it's one of the few times he still wants to cuddle. I quickly get over that because he's whiny and grouchy. And hogs the couch.